


Love's Unkind, Spiteful In A Million Ways

by passiondiesandsodoeswhizzer



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn, Falsettos - Lapine/Finn (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Angst, Death, Grieving, M/M, Weddings, also a little bit of fluff, graveyards, i cried a lot while writing this, its their wedding day, post act 2, so much fucking angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:22:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28406214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passiondiesandsodoeswhizzer/pseuds/passiondiesandsodoeswhizzer
Summary: Marvin goes to visit Whizzer's grave on what would have been their wedding day
Relationships: Whizzer Brown & Marvin, Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 35





	Love's Unkind, Spiteful In A Million Ways

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I havent written in so long, but I started this for a zine and never ended up submitting it, so I thought i should finish it and post it here! please enjoy :)

This would have been their wedding day. They had been planning it for months - at least, Whizzer had been planning it for months. Marvin was just happy to go along with whatever his lover wanted. They had booked the hall of the local community centre, claiming that it was for a family event as they could hardly have told the receptionist that they were hosting an illegal gay wedding, and Whizzer had begun to draw up the seating arrangements as soon as they had gotten home. Only a small number of guests had been invited; Jason, Trina, Mendel, the lesbians from next door, one of Whizzer’s friends from high school and his wife. Jason had written his Best Man’s speech, a mixtape had been made for them all to dance to, and Marvin had been keeping Whizzer’s wedding ring in the lapel pocket of his best suit since April.

He was wearing the suit now, fiddling with the ring nervously as he looked down at the headstone before him. The cool gray seemed to mock him with its dullness, the complete antithesis of Whizzer, his bright, warm, funny Whizzer. If he had been a colour, he would have been yellow, an explosion of colour in contrast to Marvin’s tired world. Tired. He always felt so tired now. 

He sat down on the ground, feeling the cold from the earth begin to seep into his bones. He cleared his throat, staring straight ahead at the inscription he had memorised weeks ago. 

_ “Here lies Whizzer ‘Cohen’ Brown. _

_ Friend, Father, Lover. _

_ He lit up a room without ever having to try. _

_ Rest easy. _

_ June 23rd 1947- November 4th 1981” _

It seemed impossible to Marvin that Whizzer’s whole life could be summed up by a mere 20 word summary and a set of dates. How could a man with so much passion and spark be reduced to this, letters and numbers and stone, when he was so much more? Whizzer wasn’t like the other bodies lying cold under the ground around him. Whizzer was beautiful and vibrant and more colourful than anyone Marvin had ever met, and Whizzer was  _ his _ , Whizzer had always been his. And now he was gone. He belonged to something else, to someone else, now, and as much as he wished it wasn’t true, he knew that he would never hold Whizzer in his arms again. 

He continued to fiddle with the ring, just breathing in and out as he tried desperately not to cry. His suit felt a little tight, ill-fitting, and it helped to be able to focus on his discomfort rather than his grief. It was the same suit he had worn when he and Trina had been wed, the same suit he had been pictured in at Jason’s christening.He and Whizzer had planned on buying new suits for their own celebration, but they had somehow never gotten around to it; they always assumed that they would have more time. Time. They had no time left. 

He cleared his throat, looking around to make sure there was nobody else within earshot before pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolding it. ‘Hey, baby.’ He said quietly. He placed a polaroid of Whizzer that he kept in his wallet in front of the headstone as he always did when he spoke to his lover in this way. It helped to be able to see his face - it made him feel less alone, less hollow. ‘It’s our wedding day. I thought it might be nice to come read you my vows, since I wrote them a while ago, and - and you never got to hear them.’ He swallowed hard, staring at the picture of his lover and trying to ignore the fact that he was sitting over his casket. ‘Obviously I expected to be saying these words to you under very different circumstances -’ Marvin laughed weakly, eyes feeling hot from the effort of trying not to cry - ‘but things don’t always go to plan. You knew that better than anyone. You were always so smart, Whiz, you always knew more than me.’ He cleared his throat again, really on the verge of tears now. ‘Right.’ Marvin’s voice sounded small, his words lost amongst the graves around him, swallowed by the deafening silence of death. ‘Here goes.’

‘I, Marvin, take you, Whizzer, to be my unlawfully wedded husband.’ He began to read, heart aching tenfold as he spoke. Whizzer had always joked about that, about being unlawfully wedded. He had thought it was so funny, and Marvin had always loved making Whizzer laugh. ‘I promise to stay with you always, to walk by your side in good times, and in bad. I promise to always be your best friend, and to try every single day to make you happy. Until…’ He broke off, swallowing down a sob that had threatened to bubble up out of his throat. ‘Until d-death do us part, I will forever be  _ your Marvin. _ ’ Marvin methodically folded the page back up, slipping it into his pocket. ‘And - and then I would have given you this.’ He whispered, holding up the ring and laying it on the polaroid of Whizzer’s sunny face. ‘And then I would have kissed you.’ Marvin’s voice broke, and it suddenly became ten times more difficult to breathe around the lump in his throat.

He closed his eyes, tilting his head back and letting the weak sun shine on his face. ‘People lie when they tell you it gets easier.’ He whispered after a moment. ‘Because it’s been nearly three months now and I’ve never wanted you back more than I do right now. I need you to hold me, baby.’ Marvin mumbled, voice cracking as the tears began to fall. ‘I’m so lonely. Everyone else has gone back to their lives; they miss you still, Jason misses you, but they all seem to be moving on. They don’t check on me anymore. Charlotte has been so busy with work… It’s getting worse, Whiz, whatever it was that took you away from me, it’s getting worse, and people are getting sick - *I’m* getting sick.’ His voice was weak and quiet. Marvin didn't want to admit that he was dying too. ‘Jason doesn’t know. He doesn’t realise how it spreads, but everyone else… They know. They’re all just waiting. I think that’s partly why no one comes to see me anymore, they’re scared of what they’ll find when they do.’

He sniffled, quickly wiping his eyes and looking back down at the picture of Whizzer. ‘Enough of that.’ He mumbled. ‘Today should be a happy day. A celebration, of you, of us… I wish you had made it this far, Whiz. I wish I could hold you, and dance with you, and see your pretty smile…’ He pulled out his walkman, fumbling with it awkwardly. ‘Jason left this behind last week. I don’t really know how to use it but.’ He put on the headphones and pressed play on the mixtape they had made for their special day. He sat there silently, one hand resting on Whizzers cold headstone, just above his name. It made him feel a little less alone, just for a moment, to know that he was there with Whizzer, listening to the music they had carefully chosen together. That was until the song ended abruptly and he heard static instead of music. He opened his eyes, confused, until his eyes suddenly widened as Whizzer’s voice began to come through the headphones.

‘Hey, baby.’ Came the crackly audio, the sound instantly making Marvin tear up. ‘Happy Wedding Day. I know it’s morbid and you don’t want to admit it, but odds are I’ll be gone before February rolls around, so…’ Marvin could hear his lover’s voice break in the tape, causing a sob to bubble up in his throat. ‘At least this way I’ll be able to be with you on what should have been the happiest day of our lives. I know that… That if I were in your position, I would really want to hear your voice again. So Cordelia has agreed to help me record some things for you while I’m here. She has the tapes, but I wanted to keep it a surprise until now, so… Don’t be mad at her for not giving them to you yet. Anyways.’ It was all too clear that Whizzer was trying desperately not to cry as he spoke. ‘My vows. Marvin Cohen, I, Whizzer Brown, take you to be my unlawfully wedded husband.’ A tearful chuckle escaped Marvin at that, a small smile on his face. ‘I will love you forever and ever, and I promise to try and make all of this as easy for you as I possibly can. You are the great love of my life, and you’ve made these past few months the best of my whole existence. Thank you for loving me.’ 

Marvin had to pause the tape there and just cry for a moment, sobbing into his hands. Trust Whizzer to do this, to give him the most thoughtful gift he could ever receive.

He pressed play a few moments later, wiping his eyes with his sleeves. ‘And now… Do you, Marvin, take me, Whizzer, to be your husband?’ Marvin inhaled sharply, choking out an ‘I do.’ There was a little pause before Whizzer spoke again. ‘Now you gotta ask me back, baby.’ Marvin smiled a little at the pet name, managing to stammer out ‘Whiz, do you take me to be your husband?’, waiting eagerly for the reply, to hear those two little words that he had been dreaming about for months and months.

‘I do. Marvin, I do.’

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading :) I really want to get back to writing again so I'm just tidying up and publishing whatever is in my drafts while I'm feeling motivated ! Please please please write me a comment if you enjoyed this, or message me on tumblr, @bwayruinedme


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